Lanna, so sad to hear you are saddened still by your father's death. He must have meant a lot to you for it to hurt after a couple years.
When I lost a loved one and the pain would not go away, I made a list of all the things I loved about them and that I missed. Then after a few more days of grieving I tried to write something beside each quality that I could do to experience that nurturing or even to give to others the same kind of nurturing. It was a slow sad process but eventually I started to find ways to do different activities that nurtured me in a similar way or sometimes ways I could give that same nurturing to someone else.
Today being Halloween in US many people are offline so you will probably hear from others over the weekend.

My heart reaches out to you. Please explore Psych Central, there is much here.