Why is it nearly impossible to explain, describe, do more than barely touch on what happened to me?

Why is it so difficult to trust anyone, even the people I trust?

My T knows many things that happened, and we have done a lot of work, but... I just can't talk about it with people, I can barely tell her.

And why... has it happened more than once, by more than one person?

What the he!! is WRONG with me?