Being extremely introverted, I've almost always been borderline obsessed with my own mind and how it works. So i know myself and my dysfunctions very well. I also know my physical reality and how much work it would require to get out of this stalemate I'm in. The process would be long and ardorous, and I'm lacking in resources both mental and financial.
Most of my problems are AVPD, self-esteem issues from looks-related curable ailments, depression, lack of a formal education and just being different in personality and views from anybody I've met. Also the only emotions i am able to have in relation to my own life are anger and frustration, though I can still appreciate humor..
As an aside: suppose I pretended to see anything in my future besides a yawning blackness, my general life goals could be financial independence doing something I liked and perhaps having a few people in my life to know and like me.
My reality however, is a vicious cicle of problems that prevent me from overcoming them. So most of the time I choose to be somewhere else, even if it's only in my head.