First, thank you for all responses and comments.

My therapist, and old professor of mine, and my mom all responded basically by saying I would regret the decision. That if I will finish my degree then going back into the restaurant business will still be there, but so will a job in finance.

I definitely have some self punishment going on and it is definitely affected by my depression. There was a major trigger in July, prior to that i was gung ho about graduating and I had already spoken to several masters programs about starting one very soon after finding a job.

I do have callings. But studying finance and econ have been a real joy. It just got to be all too much. But the fact is that this double major could be taken into any field like the restaurant business i used to be in, insurance, banking, or corporate finance. So if I finish, it's basically wide open to what I want to do.

I know getting drunk every night will make it worse. i guess that's the point is to maybe push me to the brink and get it over with.

Here's the plan, sign up for classes on Nov 5th. That's just going through the motions. I can drop up until January 9th or so with no consequences. My therapist feels that I will see some changes over the next 6 weeks. But if not, i'm looking into ways to not go to school in the spring and continue this treatment "full time" for another five months and see how I feel. I could do that and still graduate in Dec 2015 instead of Aug 2015. Maybe my attitude could change in that time frame.

I guess i was just venting about how my depression makes me feel. Again thank you for all feedback. It's nice to be able to say it to people who understand.