theinvisigoth - it's hard when people you thought you could count on turn their back on you, even harder when you reach out and that person isn't quite there. I really struggle with letting people in for that exact reason. Always afraid I'll be "too much" if you know what I mean. I'm happy to listen if you need a friend.

In the ambivalence place today. Ate more than I wanted to yesterday, but my weight is down. Thankful and concerned. Not sure how it will compare from 2 weeks ago when I see my nutritionist today. I want to be happy, healthy and free from this. I also want to be smaller. These two things cannot go hand in hand. At some point I need to make a choice. Fight the eating disorder or give in. For today, ambivalence is winning.