I don't even know how we feel about one another, honestly. His mother and son were just here. And she made it very clear to me that she prefers me over the other girl. Yes, I know that he's an adult and will make his own decisions, but I think that it still counts for something. She actually thought that we were dating. I need to ask him, in a non-awkward way - if he and this girl are dating. I hope not. I know that we need to have a talk. He has made it clear for me before that he does have feelings for me, but he doesn't want to risk our friendship. And some other things came to light, too, one night, when I went out with him and his friend. His friend kept telling me how he talks about me and thinks I'm beautiful and likes me and wants to date me and take me out on a date... Yet, he hasn't. And I feel like I'm at a crossroads, here. I really don't want to lose this pseudorelationship; it helps me so much. I like to cuddle, and I've never done anything like this before. I'm very rational and reserved. And I don't just kiss people that I don't intend to have a relationship with, but I made it clear to him that I would be okay with that. And I am. But, obviously, we wouldn't continue that if he were to enter into a relationship. So, I think that he owes me an explanation. One night, we were cuddling and fine. The next, he's bringing over some girl. It's ridiculous. I really just need a huge vent session, because this is destroying me. I don't want to make things awkward. I don't want to lose anything that we have. I know I should talk to him. And I can, because we're that close. I'm just afraid of the outcome. Before him, I felt so alone. And, sometimes, people just need to feel that physical closeness. And I really love cuddling with him. I doubt that his potential girlfriend would be okay with that, though. And I really don't want to be that "other girl". Besides, if we ever kiss, again, I want to know that he is not in a relationship, because I will obviously not kiss him if he is. But there's also the issue of him kissing other girls and not being in a relationship. I'm 80% sure they kissed last night. If they did, I'm not kissing him, anymore, as difficult as that is for me to do. Because he feels so different than all of the others. I just want this to work out. And I know that my wants can't overcome his own feelings. And I wouldn't want them to, either. I just want him to be happy. I want both of us to be happy. Preferably together. But separate works, as well... I don't want to be selfish. I don't want to be needy. I just want to matter to him, and I feel like I don't, even though he is my best friend and I'm his.