Wondering if others have found their moods getting worse as you get older? I'm currently in a depressed episode that is the tail end of what I think was a mixed state or something. I have days I can't remember and this was the first episode I've had where I really believed I might not be able to keep myself from killing myself so i went inpatient for fear of myself. I am on my meds and everything, so now I'm scared that I'm screwed for life and I'm worried about being able to survive and about my kids who I still can't see right now because I'm so depressed. They are at my parent's house. I'm starting to think I can't take care of them anymore. It's horrible. I'm 35 and my mood problems started in my late teens. I was diagnosed at 23 or so but didn't start taking BP meds until last year.