I'm so, so confused. A month ago I thought I was doing fine, not amazing, but fine. However I can feel myself slipping into depression and suicidal thoughts. Now as I'm going to sleep I'll think of suicide, in class I'll daydream about it, the other day I even made a joke about suicide.
I don't want to tell my t because
1) She has been talking about terminating
2) I'm at a low suicide risk
3) I can't explain these feelings, and I have nothing huge going on that would cause it.
4) I have coping skills

However I know I should say something because if I ignore this it will become worse and I already had one attempt back in 2010.

Wednesday I see my pdoc and she always asks me if I'm having sui thoughts. I've been going back and forth, between telling the truth, and lying. I know if I say yes she'll tell my t and I'll be stuck in therapy longer (I like t, but I'm tired of going to therapy). I'd rather be in denial about this.