I talked to Social Security about getting a payee for my STBXH because he's financially incompetent at the age of 62. They have payees that are a professional group.....you can ask them to change it to that because of personal issues you are having with your H. Your disability money would still be under a payee but it wouldn't be controlled by your H.

I live 2100 miles away from my STBXH so they definitely understand that there are times when the H/W aren't the right person for the payee position especially if the marriage is breaking up & that is all that you have to tell them at this point.