Hi,

My brother is 7 years older than me. When I was a kid, we would have games that were his idea. He was still playing these games when he was like 18/ 19 years old. They were initiated by him. It would be play fighting,but I remember things like his head/face being between my legs, and him pushing between my legs with his foot.

I remember being bounced up and down on his lap .My uncle would do a similar thing to me and I remember asking my uncle what what in his pocket...but that may have been innocuous and maybe there was something in his pocket.I just remember asking that question on several occasions to him while I was on his lap, and he would tell me it was his wallet, and I would say it was sticking into me.I now think it was possibly an erection. I would be right on their lap as opposed to just on their knee. I would sit on his lap, and be bounced up and down. The bouncing was pretty intense. my brother would say the game was to see how long it'd be until I fell off. The games would be initiated by him. I wouldnt initiate sitting on their laps or any play fighting.

Im pretty certain my dad alsp played the 'bouncing' game, and he also used to lie my head on his lap, and stroke my hair, and i remember thinking at the time that i was literally on his penis.He had his trousers on though. i dont know if any of this is normal.

I would also be tickled by my brother on my stomach.The tickling would go really low down, and my tshirt was pulled up so my stomach was bare.

When I was about 14 years old, my uncle stopped visiting us, and we never saw him again. I have always had a soft spot for my brother and uncle, and I find it hard to say anything negative about them. I felt I had a special relationship with both of them.

My therapist thinks I may have been abused. I am not sure. I didnt bring it up in therapy. she was asking questions, and it came up.I had never really questioned it before.i seemed to go a bit funny when I talked about this stuff. I felt similar way to how I feel when I have sex or how I feel if there's a tv show on which is about kids being sexually abused- I go all cold and detached. I barely remember anything. What do you make of just what I've said?