Hi Punkyninja,

To feel overwhelmed with the diagnosis is normal I think. I was side-swiped with it as well. I thought I was perfectly normal, and when my therapist told me that she was sure it’s BP disorder, she isn’t sure if I’m type 1 or type 2. That was 10 months ago. Since then I’ve done nothing but research and journal. I read everything I could get my hands on just to understand the cycling behaviors and the depression.

Everything feels out of control for a while, but you have to work towards making it feel better. To keep a consistent sleeping and eating schedule is very helpful and helps keep your moods stabilized. I resisted making myself eat and sleep because sometimes I really have to force myself to do them. Especially if I was in a manic cleaning spree and wasn’t tired at all.

You may start in trying to figure out what part of you responds with bipolar behaviors and which parts are truly you. I think this is a very common misconception that causes us to somewhat lose our self-identity. I learned early on to ward this off by telling myself that I respond the best way I can to whatever situation happens and I need to slow down and think through my reactions. I realize that not everyone can stop life for a while to sit and figure things out, but I left my job in order to gain control of my life again. With ten months of needless soul searching, I learned to control how much outside influence I allowed into life. Drama makes it worse, avoid it at all costs. Keep your schedule as consistent as possible to allow yourself time to get yourself situated. My support group used to tell me that even though I wasn't used to it, I needed to figure out how to not feel guilty that it’s all about me right at that point. It is all about you, and you shouldn't let that make you feel bad.

I hope this was helpful for you.