Miaktt I'm so sorry you've had such a difficult time, starting with the way your mother acted and treated you. That's a very rough start in life.

Opening up in this way, talking about it, admitting how very traumatic it all was and the deep effect it's had on your emotions -- that takes great courage.

This is a safe place where you can talk about the emotions and traumas you've kept inside. You'll get a lot of support. Please just keep talking about your life and also offering your support and comments to others.

I don't know what kind of therapy and services are available in your country. It's possible that a professional counselor could help you recover from all that has happened.

I wish you the best and hope we will hear more from you here at Psych Central.