So frustrating. So many jobs I want to do, don't have the credentials for- all the jobs I have the experience for, I don't like. The problem is I've always had a minimal amount of interest in a wide variety of subjects. Growing up I never really saw a future with me doing anything in particular. I figured I'd eventually find my niche. Aside from wanting to help others and wishing I could be a social or environmental activist, I am left with nothing. I have a degree worth **** unless I go back to school for a masters in the field I don't want anything to do with. I could do it but I know I'd get too emotionally involved with my patients. I am getting older and I keep thinking I can get a job as an assistant- not like that is even my god damn passion! I love to write and I haven't even been doing much of that at all lately- been too caught up either job searching of spending time with my bf. OR getting distracted by the damned internet! lol. Argh!
I hate how things have turned out for me.
I have too many emotional hangups- from bad past romantic and platonic friendships. MY social anxiety has bred agitation and I don't know if I can really be as outgoing and socially acceptable (I'm awkward) to get the jobs I am qualified for. I'm very smart but socially awkward. It ****ing sucks!
I wish I had applied myself and gotten an English degree, or a medical license or business degree or a teaching degree even. I'm becoming more and more apathetic about the whole job search thing, as more and more I don't want anything to do with corporate america, but I can't make a living off writing poetry and philosophical ideas. And I get by with my job but It's not for me- sure I'm the best, but there's no room for growth that I want- though lately with my agitation I am getting good at giving directions/orders to people if it's needed).

My main problem is not being able to make up my mind, I've been told I'm great at painting nails and doing hair and a great listener, I'm good at word games and solving puzzles and would make a great detective, perhaps even a preschool teacher like my mom was when she was younger . . . I have great work ethics, fast typer, apt student- ****- if I could be a professional student, sign me up. I like to consider myself a
philomath (Philomath - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) but that wont pay the bills . . ... .