I just need a bit of advice. I have been seeing a therapist for about 10 months and I have a real hard time talking and being honest about how I feel. I get so stuck in the moment and fear, shame, embarrassment, and mostly lack of trust seem to get the best of me always. Recently, I have been getting so frustrated at my inability to talk about things that I have been considering walking away from therapy for awhile to see if that could give me some relief. I'm really struggling right now and thought walking away might help. It doesn't really make sense that it would, and it possibly is just me avoiding things that are not easy. I sent an email to my tharapist last week and she suggested we talk about it at our next appt which was yesterday. At the appt she just wanted to encourage me to do whatever I thought best for me, and was concerned that if I walked away that I would then have no support at all because I don't really talk to anyone about my struggles. She suggested that maybe I try to attend a group setting in a 12-step program or something like that. I told her the thought of a group was too scary for me and she suggested that if I was comfortable with it that I could go with her to her group, and that we could just go as friends, and see if that could be helpful to me. I reluctantly agreed and met her an hour later at the group meeting, and though I wasn't able to talk in the group, it did open my eyes to the unparalled beauty of imperfection in people who are struggling, just like me. In hindsight, I know that was her intention, and as we left she asked me if I would come back next week. I honestly can't see myself, in the near future being able to talk in a group setting, perhaps it's just the tincture of time. I don't know. For whatever reason, my fear of judgement, and lack of trust, that have prevented me from being able to open up in therapy with her for these last 10 months seem almost non-existent
today, and I honestly feel like I can make progress in therapy. This is a result of me attending that group meeting last night, with a wonderful group of people. I want, above all, to be respectful of and sensitive to boundaries. I'm just unsure if I can or should attend the groups and individual therapy with her. Would it be appropriate to just share with her what I have shared here with you and see what her thoughts are?