I decided to join Psych Central because I am interested in the subject of Psychology. Another reason for joining, is that seven months ago this November, 2014 my female friend of eight years ended our friendship by going no contact and breaking up. I am learning from this experience, because a lot of what happened between us in conversation, was my first time in handling the style of communication that was occurring. There is more, but this is the basic background.....

Eight years ago, my ex female friend and I met in a local bar. Later that evening, we walked to her house, were intimate and I left her house the next day. Our friendship began this way. Over the years, we experienced closeness and distance. Our intimate times always followed alcohol consumption. I am not sure how much detail is needed in this forum? My main concerns are: I have blamed myself for losing her. In May 2014, she and her son, entered a local 12 step AA program to help handle their substance abuse issues, since both mother and son have this issue. Also, in May, 2014, saw the break up of our friendship. During the current Summer, when there were times of short phone conversations between her and I, she was cold in vocal tone toward me. She was a different woman, not the warm, caring, woman I was used to.She was defensive, critical, silent, aggressive toward me. I had never heard this style of conversation from her during the eight years of our phone conversations. I am feeling the need to cut this short, because I have been dealing with "our" break up since May, 2014. I believe she has a new boyfriend/lover? She has moved on with her life. She is indifferent toward me. I believe the break up was a rough experience for both of us. Honestly, I wish them both well in their recovery from substance abuse. After our break up, it dawned on me how important she was to me and I had pushed her away but telling her to find another person who would take better care of her, only to realize that "I" could've been that person. I don't know why, I didn't take better care of her?! I want to say, that this break up, "woke me up!". I am working on becoming a stronger, confident, positive, assertive person. I miss her! I hope she is finally: "happy", "healthy" and "hopeful". Those were her three goals for her and her son's future!

Semeon