It is not at all unusual for children who are sexually abused to enjoy the attention and "affection". It isn't even unusual for children to think it feels good, and want it to happen again. By no means am I saying that that is what always happens, but it certainly isn't unusual.

Later on, it is often difficult for these people who felt this way to feel ashamed and embarrassed. But ya know what? You were a person, and he was doing something that made you feel good, at least emotionally. And... so your response was to like it. There is nothing wrong with that. He took advantage of your natural child instincts to trust your father, and to believe that he wouldn't do anything wrong or hurt you. He took advantage on the fact that you depended on your parents for EVERYTHING, and you believed that they would only do what was in your best interest. He took advantage of the fact that a child doesn't even realize that adults CAN use a child for their own selfish desires, and against the child's needs and health.

Nothing you did or felt was wrong. The ONLY person in the wrong, was HIM.

I don't know what you can or cannot come to accept, but I DO know that if you find the right Therapist, one who cares about, who you can trust, and who you "click" with... you can certainly work on it. It is a long road, and it can be painful. But every breakthrough makes the whole thing worth it.

<3