Hello Fox & Hound: Yes, I know this feeling. Every so often, it seems like the fog around me unexpectedly lifts momentarily & I feel... well... "normal" (I guess...) During these times, I too miss my depression. Depression is SO familiar, & "normal" seems too odd & novel. Plus there is the fear that this feeling of happiness won't go away! And then what do I do? I've had all of these years of craziness & now all of a sudden I'm going to be happy? The thought scares the bejeebers out of me! Oh, and yes, of course the thoughts of just ending it all continue as well. They've become so ingrained into my thought processes over the years that even a sudden onslaught of happiness won't wipe the from my memory banks.