Thanks everyone. Your al lso loving. So caring and so heart warming. Sadly at this stage of my life it doesnt trigger any help. I'm not able to grasp it and I don't like it, yet I do. Its complicated. Basicly I have no "want" in me to get better, yet i do...gosh I'm confusing. Basicly I've decided to leave PC for a while, and possibly go into a pyciatric ward, a place to cry as long as I need to. Maybe I will get better. Take care all, god bless and pray for me and for yourselves and most importantly, the world.
Moonkin.