Both my parents wanted cremation. My father passed first 97 . My mom passed 2002 Bothdied way to young.. We had a private viewing for them both , Only my brother and I and my parents siblings that could make it were there . Per my parents wishes. I have both there urns with me as was there wish.

We were offered a Christian service for them both, My parents decided against one, But if they wanted one , it could have been done right in the funeral home Chapel, Clergy would have just performed the service there .. I do know that is was a very low expense vs a normal church service .. Maybe and option for you.... and then his family could do what they wish...

I do think its selfish of him to not make his wishes made other "let the VA do whatever" It's not fair to you certainly. I'm sorry your left with all these thing to think of and figure out.

I say, don't talk to the daughter for now and just let this all calm down. Emotions are too high right now.

Take care of you