Hello purplepearl: Maintaining a long-term marital relationship can be tough, today especially I believe. There are so many ways in which two people can grow apart. I don't know how old you & your husband are, or how long you've been married. (My wife & I have been married for over 30 years.) One thing I know is that marital relationships are going to change over time. Ours certainly has. And issues are going to arise on both sides of the fence (husband & wife.) Sometimes it takes active intervention to save a marriage, assuming it can be saved at all.

Sometimes such things as marriage counseling can be helpful. Or if one of the members of the couple is not willing to participate in marriage counseling, then perhaps individual counseling or therapy can be helpful for the person who is willing to participate in such a service. Of course, as I'm sure you're aware, there are also a wide variety of weight loss programs around if added weight is causing self-esteem issues to arise. (It can certainly be difficult to work successfully on saving a marital relationship if one's self-esteem is low.) There are also anger management classes one can take, as well as both men's (& women's) support groups... lots of different options, depending on where you live & what your husband's & your preferences are.

It can be difficult to know how, or at what point, to break into the downward cycle when a marital relationship is floundering (assuming, of course, that trying to save it is what you want to do.) And this may be different for every couple. But the important thing is that you take some sort of action (whatever it is possible for you to do) to get the process started. The worst thing one can do is to do nothing. The problems you describe won't go away by themselves. They'll simply continue to smolder until they break out into a real fire which may then destroy the relationship once & for all.

The good news here is that you are aware of the problems that are arising within your marriage. And so you are in a position to at least try to do something about them, assuming you want to. Of course, you also must be able to enlist the active participation of your husband. If it should turn out he is simply not willing, then you must, of course, save yourself. My best wishes to you.