Hey bhugz, it's ok (((((((bhugz)))))))
I can relate to what you said about not being yourself since the tragic event. I wasn't molested, but a thing (series of things) happened to me that turned my life upside down too. I can pinpoint the the experience and feelings I had because it was afterwards that everything changed. For me, it deflated my self esteem so bad that it really wiped out the person I had been before, like erasing a blackboard, there was nothing left anymore. A lot of people go thru tragedy and still are themselves, having some tools to work with for recovery, but in my case, and it sounds like yours too, everything we knew was wiped away.
Not trusting anymore, we isolate and it's difficult, if not impossible for others to reach us. I felt as if my life had become a one-way experience. I had the ability to hear and understand and feel others pain at an amplified level, but for myself, I only knew the pain. I didn't understand what had happened to me. Where had I gone? How do you lose your personality? No one I talked to understood. I felt like I was floating in space, still had enough oxygen to breathe, but unconnected and drifting with nothing to grab onto and in the distant darkness I could see earth, but no way to reach it.
My family didn't help much (at all) either. I always felt weird. I tried so hard to make a connection with them, but it just wasn't there. They were actually a big part of the breakdown I had, but I still wanted to be a part of the only tie I had to people. Now that I'm older I can see their dysfunction and I've been able to stop blaming myself a little for the things that happened. Younger, I really looked up to them though and they were always right and knew the answers. I try to keep a healthy distance now but still be there when they need me. Not living with them makes a big difference. Think about the reason you are unmotivated. If you worked for a corporation and were belittled by the boss and mistreated, disrespected, you wouldn't like the job much, you wouldn't like your boss much, and you wouldn't be inclined or motivated to do your best. So is it really laziness or unhappiness? Like a job, we are stuck with our family for a certain period of time in our lives. Like the job we hate, we go everyday because it gives something we need to survive. Mnay people have a love/hate relationship with their work, and the same can be said of their families. When the rewards no longer compensate for the emotional cost, it's time to move on. Even if you can't do it physically, mentally you've detached and left long before you actually leave. Again, love yourself and forgive yourself for not doing better. We all are only human and like the wildflowers in the field need some sun to go with the rain. Who you are now is not who you will always be, or how you will always be. A change in environment does wonders for the soul like the flower we transplant to a shadier place.
I'm sorry I get so long winded, but I really care and hope this helps.

P.S. I sent you a private message. You should see a flashing envelope at the top of your screen. Click on it and it will take you to the private message area

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall." Confucius