Thanks for the replies. It is helpful to know there are other functioning deppressives out there. Faking it is what I'm getting good at overall. I think it's catching up with me a bit.

I think the key now is to try to not read people's minds. I don't know what they know and whether they think I'm doing well or not. People are typically self-absorbed, so it's unlikely anyone is trying to figure out a way to find any problems with me.

As far as liking what I do, I think it's a matter of lost interest. There is a potential to like the type of work I do, but many of the tasks I put off while depressed are the ones I don't enjoy. Now I'm at a point where I can't hide behind the interesting things as easily because even those are less interesting for me. It's a problem I'm facing in general - I'm losing interest in hobbies and other areas that would help me get my mind off of work.

The weather change isn't helping of course. Today is a bit better to begin with. A slight change in meds was made to help fight the "paranoia" type thoughts. Until that kicks in some extra anti-anxiety to hold me over. I'll try to find something I can enjoy outside of work, but that's still going to take work. My interests shift often and when there is a shift there's a time when I have no interests. If I can cope through this, I may find something to occupy my mind with, but until then, I'll soldier on as best I can and experiment with possible areas of interest.