I have an idea that might work ..
Go on strike ...
Stop doing something that he enjoys like cooking , cleaning , anything that he likes that you do for him take it away from him and see what he dose ?
And when he gets upset then say this is how I feel ...

Sometimes a partner needs to feel the sting of your pain to relize how selfish he is being .
The old saying .. Action speaks louder then words !

Don't give up