Quote:
Originally Posted by CrazyGirl6371
I know that I'm making a lot of excuses for him. I'm trying to rationalize what he's doing, and - sometimes - that just can't be done. You cannot rationalize the irrational, as one of my professors used to say... He had her over at his place; he lives at one of the stations at the squad I volunteer for, and I frequently pull long shifts there; I was on shift that night. He's my best friend, and I get a lot of emotional and mental support for him. And I need the physical closeness, and he provides that, as well.
I did talk to him about things yesterday. He said he did not want to be in a "friends with somewhat benefits" (i.e., cuddling and kissing) relationship... He is still fine with cuddling, but - apparently - kissing is out. He is not in a relationship with the other girl. He does not "like-like" her. Yet, he will not say that he doesn't still "like-like" me. This is what I can get out of it...
He is not ready for a relationship.
He still likes me, but - as I put above - he does not want a relationship.
He knows that kissing is more of a relationship thing to me, and he does not want to encourage something that he does not want; that would be unfair to me.
Does any of this make sense to you all?
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You're describing a situation where you're close to him and want a really comfortable 'relationship', and its just not comfortable. That hurts quite a bit, I'd imagine. It sounds quite a lot like a guy being "friend-zoned" in a way... just frustrating.
For what its worth he does sound pretty ethical. He's supportive but has a boundary, and is open about his other relationship. That's a good thing.
You have to consider your own emotional capabilities in this. Dealing with changes in the nature of relations of people you care for can be difficult in the best of circumstances.
Do you feel equipped for more ambiguity,confusion and jealousy? Are you in a good place personally at the moment?