I’m hoping for some perspective on my situation, please. My boyfriend of 2 years, a 53 year old man, spiraled into depression in July after being laid off from his job. The layoff was “the straw that broke the camel’s back” so to speak, as there were deeper issues that he just hadn’t fully addressed yet. He was briefly hospitalized and then did a 3 week out-patient program. At that point he decided to move 900 miles away to live with his parents and near other family while continuing to seek treatment. I was of course devastated at the idea of him leaving because he was not been able to tell me when/if he’d be back. But I have come to a certain level of understanding about him wanting to be with family while healing. Prior to leaving he assured me that we’d talk, text, email, Skype, etc. and that he’d like me to come visit over the holidays. I love him, so I supported what he felt he needed to do even though it has been really hard on me. He’s currently in treatment… individual and group… on a weekly basis and is on the right track. He is also job hunting there. But he is now saying he doesn’t want me to visit. That he feels like his life is still too much of a mess, he’s still putting the pieces back together, and that he needs to have his feet more firmly on the ground. He is able to interact with all of his family, immediate and extended, but will not see me. I don’t understand. I have been his best friend and primary support system for over 2 years, have known more about his personal struggles than any of his family, and now I’m being physically shut out. Before leaving, he wanted to spend lots of time with me because it calmed him and made him feel better. And to make it worse, he now can’t/won’t even tell me when or if I will ever see him again. He tells me that I’m an important part of the rebuilding process, but he can’t give me anything more to go on or be more encouraging. So I stand by him while he heals just to be dumped once he doesn’t need my support anymore? I’m beyond hurt and angry. He tells me he loves me and misses me, likes staying in touch throughout the day via text, and likes hearing my voice every night before bed, but that’s it. Needless to say, I’ve lost my patience and understanding and now he is choosing to ignore me. Says that I need to accept the situation for what it is, along with its limitations, and refusing to do so will result in him ignoring me. I understand that he can’t snap his fingers and decide not to be depressed. I’ve been there. I realize that it can be a long process. But this level of selfishness? I don’t understand.