Well, purplepearl... of course I'm an oldster... & I have my own problems along these lines... so perhaps I shouldn't say anything. But, to me, when I hear that a guy never initiates sex & leaves it up to his wife to do so, that raises a red flag for me! There's a skunk in the woodpile somewhere, as we used to say... I won't even begin to speculate with regard to what it might be. But I wonder if there might possibly be a need for some individual therapy services for your husband, if he would be willing to go. Here, again, if he is not, there's not much you can do about it except do what is necessary to take care of yourself...