Thank you again for your help. I will try to look at some of the links when I am at work on Tuesday as it is difficult to do any research at home.

Me and my last wife are American. We were separated for about 3 years before we were divorced. My current wife and I were married in the US, but moved after about 1 year to the UK. My current wife is English.

I knew my wife for about 1 year before getting married. In the US life seemed perfect, though my wife changed almost immediately since moving to the UK. I still remember the first full day we were here she left me alone with her parents so she could go out clubbing. She did this for the first 3 or 4 nights. She has been different, but has gotten worse as time goes by. Most of the time I end up doing it her way which has lasted me this long. More recently I have stood up to her. She tries to do things I've seen on the movie Gaslight. She tries to correct my memory and make me doubt what I said was true. I would like to take notes, but I fear these would only be found.

If I were to remain married I was hoping the whole family would be able to move back to the states, but if I get a divorce I would like to stay with my two daughters. If this meant staying in the UK then I would have to stay. I don't think my indefinite leave to remain is affected by a divorce, so most of her threats I would assume are not true. I think the only thing I can't due is vote as I am not a citizen, only a resident.

My main issue is getting help, as she will only find out about it which will cause some major issues, also if I have to pay a lawyer it would also cause major problems.

Tonight she associated a discussion about financial freedom as not wanting to stay married. She also said she was donating blood on Thursday, and was going to use her car. Not my car, or even our car, but her car.

It seems the more I don't conform to what she wants the harder she is pushing me. Her current favourite thing to do is start an argument in front of the children, then when I respond she tells me to be quiet in front of them. She then comes back 5 minutes later and says something else, and the cycle continues.

Thank you again, your replies are really opening my eyes.