No Open Eyes, the daughter did not "let me know what the family will do." She kept badgering me, saying over and over that "I don't know what he wants . . . I don't know what he wants." She's done this to me twice in the past ten years and been told before that I don't appreciate it. 7 years ago, I told her brother that I don't appreciate it, and he said "I told her not to do that."

If she earnestly wants to know if her dad has preferences, then why wait till he falls asleep and ask me. Then when I share with her that he has said, "Just walk away and let the VA bury me," why keep badgering me. And we had this discussion 10 years ago and 7 years ago.

This is a mind game. It is not about respect. It is about money.

She's not asking what I want, and I don't even expect that she should. She keeps harping on cremation as "the way to go because it saves money." I don't argue with her on that. But she is wanting something from me that she keeps pushing for. That's a mind game.

I understand that full service funerals are expensive and that his children resent that he is leaving behind no funds to pay for final arrangements. If she was straightforward and said, "My father's burial is going to be a simple affair, economical because he leaves behind no money, and we have our own families to think of. That would be honest. What she is doing is not straightforward, nor honest and sincere.

But, yes, she wants to be perceived as "Lady Bountiful." She never ask if I had any preferences. When I broke down and told her I do have a concern, she showed no respect for it. She didn't say, "Yes, there can be a Mass with his body present," as conforms with our religious traditions, and that's good of you, Rose, to want to pay for it. That would be respectful. What she is doing is bullying. And making herself look better than her sibs, when I have no knowledge of their intentions.