My boyfriend and I have been together for four years now. Both 23 years old. We've been living together for two years. We have had our ups and downs but overall a decent relationship. He's my first boyfriend, first everything to say the least. We have certain obstacles in our relationship, for instance my over protective parents use to inflict a lot in our relationship when it came to me moving out,him moving in then my parents moving in with us. Point is, we've been through a lot together yet remained by each others side.

He's an overall good man. He's hardworking,nice,dedicates time to me always, teaches me a lot of things my point is.. he's a good person, his only downfall is that he has a bad temper. His father as well as a bad temper, his brother does too. He grew up with this violent image from his father that he says he doesn't ever want to become, but it runs in his blood. I say this because I've seen how he reacts when he gets angry.

We have our arguments from time to time. About two times in the past he got real aggressive where he holds me hard, I have told him I will never support domestic abuse. He knows this even before we started dating.

So, lately things have been going well. We even planned our first trip to NYC. He told me he has a surprise planned. I knew what it was because him and his mom were making it obvious that it would be a proposal.

So what happens? We have this childish argument two days ago, we had a disagreement (something real small and stupid). So, he goes upstairs and I hear him *****ing by himself real loud, that triggers me to go upstairs..which I do. The argument escalated, he called me a curse word and I called him one back he got so angry shook me and held my neck. I punched him on his back. That night I went to the other room and he spent all night telling me sorry etc etc. Point is, this ruined our trip and to mention the proposal.

I know, what you're thinking..leave. Leave now, red flag. Things will only get worst. I know this. But I choose to stay, because we overall have a good relationship. I have faith that things can improve, call me weak but I am only in this to make things work. And as of right now I am willing to risk it. But I told him it has to be from both parts, he has to go seek help and we will have to take measures to make things work. It takes a lot, and I believe if we cannot handle an argument, then we shouldn't even think about getting married.

I am hurt right now and so is he, and I told him he should postpone his proposal because if he asks me I will say No. ( Was that wrong for me to say?). First of all a proposal should be a surprise, Secondly, right now is not the right time. We had not just an argument but it became physical. He has to pay the consequences. I know I am not perfect, but there are certain limits. He's been down all day stating how hard it was for him and how long he's been planning this for,everyone knows about it etc.

I love him but I care more about the health of our relationship than anything else. A proposal can wait, and if we have to wait more months but until there isn't an improvement, I can not move the relationship to a higher commitment. Even if we live together, I want him to learn his lesson.