Don't feel pressured to end it all tomorrow. Don't feel pressured to speak with them at all! The ball is in your court now, and you don't have to touch it until you're ready.

Do your parents know the whole story? If you're like me, and you sound a lot like me, you never told them. You don't have to hide or cover up for him or minimize what happened between you! You don't have any reason to be ashamed and you don't have to pretend you had a happy marriage if you didn't.

If your parents know even a portion of the truth they can help keep you safe and help you get counseling. You don't know what to do right now, that's natural. You are learning to stand up for yourself and that doesn't happen overnight.

It's a very hard thing you're doing and I'm so proud of you I could just burst! Don't feel diminished by the man and his codependent family. Cut ties with them until you feel stronger, or cut ties with them permanently. You do not owe him or his family a response or even an explanation.

He and his family are still trying to control you, since you took the control out of their hands they are scrambling. He will escalate his behavior, digging in his heels and trying every trick in the book to get you back where he can be in charge again.

Watch for a few months, you'll be amazed. He will either go to counseling and admit his wrongs and try to do better, or he will move on to a new victim and continue his destructive behavior.

The good thing is you don't have to be on the receiving end! Write here whenever you want, those of us who have lived through it will not be shocked by anything you reveal. We will not blame you or take his side. We want you to be strong enough to live a better life.