I didn't know where else to post this.

Question: How can I stop my sadistic tendencies? I get pleasure from hurting people in different ways, but it's not sexual (I don't know how that would feel).

Useful/Important information: Therapy is out of the question for now. I have a good reason, but I can't explain it here. The reason I want to stop hurting people (and deriving pleasure from doing it, which is the reason I'd hurt them in the first place) is I don't want to get in trouble. Simple as that. I've gotten in trouble before (nothing serious though - I stick to the laws), and I'd like to avoid that in the future.

Lately it's been difficult to hide it, I even lost a friend because of it. She thought I was scary and my behavior repulsive, so she didn't want to be with me. That's okay, I never really liked her anyway, but the problem is that there are people I don't want to lose. And I don't want to go too far.

I won't list the things I've done, because I'm afraid the people who know me could recognize me if I did. (I don't know if any of them are here, but still).

So... Help?