You really do need to talk to a therapist and a lawyer. This sounds really unhealthy and could end very badly if she is engineering stories about you and controlling all account access.

I would also consider this: what on earth can she really do to you if you create a new bank account and start direct depositing your check? Lock you out of the house? Make you sleep on the couch? Divorce you? If she has stayed with you this long, perhaps she is mostly talk and less action - a lot of people who make these kinds of threats are.

If you sell the car that's in your name, would you have enough to pay a lawyer?