I don't pretend too much anymore. Sometimes I do because it is appropriate. I don't want to drag other people down and whine and complain all the time. Thats not good for me anyway.

My whole life people have come to me with their problems. I don't know what it is. Its the same way with my mom. Something I learned in AA is that it is my job to share my experience strength and hope when someone comes to me with a problem. so I always share my experience with them, even the worst of it. then they see me as someone they can relate too. it builds trust. i don't have to be this big strong shoulder for people. it becomes about helping each other. there is not reason you can't share your problems with someone else who is having problems. sticking to your own experience and not giving advice usually works better.