I keep trudging along because I know that's what I'm supposed to do. I have nieces and nephews that adore me (wife's words). I have my in-laws. I have my friends. Knowing all of that doesn't make this easier. It makes it harder. It seems to be crushing me. I have to keep going for all these people when all I want is too fade off screen for a while. I'm thinking about everything I've done and has been said to me and that feeds the depression which makes those thoughts worse. Vicious cycle that never seems to get better.