often it is the thrill of "perhaps getting caught" or the thrill of doing a taboo (I know old fashioned term) thing and seeing how long they can get away with it.
myself? well there is only enough of me for one person.
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why me? what did I do to deserve being treated this way? and for 54 years yet!
The guy who seemed unbreakable BROKE,
the guy who always laughed STOPPED,
the guy who never stopped trying finally GAVE UP,
he dropped the fake smile as a tear rolled down his cheek and he whispered "i cant do this anymore"
then collapsed and gave up the ghost.
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