Oh yes, it is difficult for men. I'm 44 and I've been having problems maintaining erections for the past 5 years. It's not due to the regular reasons such as meds or diabetes. I have hurt my back and at the same time as I have been losing sensation in my feet and legs, I have also lost the sensations of touch, heat/cold, humidity in my penis, perineum and parts of my scrotum. How disasterous?!!!

Now I can still get an erection. Really, I get them all the time. Any hint of sex, or my naked wife and up it goes. I'm normally able to initiate intercourse, have some limited penetration. However, if I'm on top it is very hard to maintain the erection because I have no sexual stimulation...there's no feeling to keep me focused. My mind wanders to the position of my hands, the sweat on my forehead, a cold draft on my behind...well you get the picture. Without a feeling in my penis to keep me in the moment, I lose the erection. Even with my wife on top, I feel nothing and there is normally "less movement" so I lose my erection as well.

I've gotten to the point of coping in some areas with the problems. I take 100mg of Viagra. I also bought a strap-on to use on my wife so that she can be satisfied even if I can complete the act. I've also had to change my outlook, as in ejaculation is not the goal, as I can't always ejaculate. When I take the Viagra, my penis literally feels like a "live" dildo stuck on me. It's hard...erect...and I can't feel it. But I use it like a strap-on. The last few intimate encounters have been the most successful, since I spent most of the time just using it like a flesh sex toy. My wife was satisfied and I wasn't disappointed that I couldn't ejaculate. In the end I finished manually twice and once I even finished through penetration.

It was the change of mind. I know it is devastating for men, it hurts, it's embarrassing. If this is a persistent problem, there is no reason to stop having intercourse...both partners need it. However, as a man that has the problem and has had to deal with it...at one point you have to accept and deal with it. My problem isn't going away, so I've had to figure out how to use what I have as positively as I can.

I hope this helps.