Yes, that really sounds like what was really taking place. Also the both of you were the only ones to "try" to interact with this "lost man" too. My guess is this daughter is feeling a lot like you, stressed about how it went. You did mention how she seemed to lean on the alcohol to help her with this challenge.

I honestly think she was leaning on you, I think she is "lost" with this entire situation. I think she was "always" lost when it came to her father. Out of all his children, she has been the only one at least "trying". Take a moment and think about how he has affected you too Rose.

The problem with "alcoholism" is that the individual stops "growing" up. Instead, they hide out in the alcohol and never truely "mature". That is what you are dealing with in this man, what his children also had to deal with too.

I have had to deal with this myself too Rose. It really hit me when I worked with a family counselor in an effort to figure out what to do about my challenged marriage. This counselor told me that my husband only had the maturity level of a 12/13 year old. He told me that he would push my buttons constantly to mother him, and I had to refuse to do so. Well, that was a lot of work for a young woman like me. Honestly, that is what this man has always done with you too Rose, what his daughter was also doing with you while he was sleeping.

One has to consider what the reality of a 12/13 year old really is as that is often an alcoholic's maturity level. They are manipulative, they don't quite understand "grown up" stuff. Yet, some of them can make good money and be productive, however, they see the world at their level of maturity only. When a family member has that disease, it really does affect their entire family. That is what you have not only lived yourself, but also this daughter who sat with you one to one.

When I experienced a great deal of loss, it was too much and I broke down with "post traumatic stress". What I began to feel like is me being the one trying the hardest to be the "adult" crashed and I could not seem to verbalize that when I reached out for help. Often you are surprised by me because I seem to know that part of you, well, yes, because it takes one to know one.

It doesn't really all boil down to the money, there is more there than just that. This daughter was the only child to even think about taking out a life insurance policy on this man, and she is expressing how her siblings are going to harass her for that if they find out.

It's so hard to step back from a picture when one is somehow "in that picture".

One day I was talking to my therapist about how nice it is to have someone like him that can actually "listen" and not get all emotional or defensive with me. He said to me, that is because I am not "in" your picture so I don't have that kind of stake in it. He said, however, he would struggle to do the same if the challenges were in his own family as he would be "in" that picture and unknowlingly be on some kind of defensive.

This man that has been in your life for so many years has produced "dysfunction" in your life, but not only "your life" but anyone who is connected to him. So, that is the only thing you are going to experience and is just what you experienced this past week.