I don't think that what you're doing for you is lame at all.

I think that your husband is in a place where you, alone, cannot help him. He needs to see a therapist.
And I urge you to consider that people that are "okay" rarely have a full understanding of people that are not. My husband could NEVER fully understand what it's like to have depression. Unless he had it himself.

We all have things we tolerate in other people and things we don't. He clearly has drifted into the latter category for you. Which is fine. Your feelings are valid...you don't find him desirable and his lack of enthusiasm for life makes you resent him.

Now what?
There's separation or therapy. I think if you simply go on tolerating, then the frustration will build and build.

You deserve to be happy.