I see what your saying Perna, but the then does still reside inside of me and has a greater hold on me then the present. At times I feel as If I am back in the past. I can't just "see" as then and now, its still or mish mashed up. Each time I take a couple of steps backwards, I know I go forward again, but the past really still does have a hold on my "today". At times in therapy its not a feeling of just working through, its like I'm fighting to just remain in the here and now..as far as my insiders are concerned, its really still happening..if this makes sense??? I guess thats why I feel so up in the air at times...I'm on one hand here in the present with my family but inside my insiders are awake and dealing with all the old stuff which to them is happening now. Its like living on to time lines..sometimes different insiders are in the dominant role then the %#@&#! hits the fan :-(