An hour once a week with a therapist may just be inadequate for you. If there is any opportunity for you to get into a partial hospitalization program, that might be worth your while. It helped me a lot. Unfortunately, there just aren't enough of these programs. What I liked was the peer to peer support that developed. And I wasn't that good at connecting with peers, but I learned to.

You sound so deeply distressed. I hope you find some meaningful help. You're a human being and you deserve it. Sometimes a person just can't work things out alone.