My therapist is truly great. I feel very safe and connected with her when we are together, though in the interim between sessions and just as I see her each time I feel very frightened of her. She is working diligently and patiently with me to help me come to a place in my life where I can live in peace with myself and happiness with others and I respect her for her efforts.

I recently asked her to write me a letter that I could hold onto and read when times were difficult for me. I tossed and turned over asking her, and then again once I had wondering whether having such a letter would promote an unhealthy attachment to her in a space where I'm working to attach to myself. Admittedly I see any attachment/connection to her as inappropriate and have worked hard to tame my own feelings toward her.

Anyhow, she wrote me a letter and planned to bring it to the following session which was last night. I read and read and read about what therapeutic notes consisted of to gain some insight of what this note would look like. I was prepared to receive a letter that had a certain arrangement, a certain voice to it, and with specific things added while others left out. I knew exactly what this note would look like.

I got the note. And it was exactly what I had thought it would be; following instruction of a therapeutic letter almost to a t, it was a perfect example of a letter given to a client from their therapist. I read it and was both relieved and heartbroken.

I don't know why I'm feeling this way. I should be grateful and I am, wholly. However, another side of me is sad reading the note and knowing that it was formulated and strategized. I don't know, perhaps I'm making too much of it. Do you think I should talk to my therapist about it, or just let it go to the wayside?