I am so sorry you are feeling like this. For quite a few weeks recently I thought constantly about driving my car off the road so I could get hurt and be in the hospital and take a break from the world. I think the main reason I didn't do it is because I was afraid it would mess my face up and I didn't want that.

Then last week I was on the couch with a heavy depression and all thoughts of accidents were gone. I was so lethargic the thought of hurting myself seemed like too much work.

Now, since Friday, I have been super happy and productive.

This cycling makes me so tired. What you are feeling right now will fade away and better feelings will come. We have to just keep reminding ourselves of that.

Please know you are not alone and if you were here I would wrap you in a big hug ((hugs))