Hi Tongalee,

I'm sorry that the letter felt strategized to you. But just because a t might use a certain patten in how they formulate their letter, it doesn't necessarily mean that what your t wrote wasn't honestly geared toward you as an individual. Maybe I can give an example.

Many of us have heard that if we want to give somebody constructive criticism, it's best to praise them first, then tactfully give the criticism, then follow it up with more encouragement. By doing it this way, it's easier for the person to take in the message without feeling defensive. For example, "Hey Ron, I really appreciate having you as a friend. But please call first before you just drop by. Sometimes I'm in the middle of something. If I know you are coming, I can set aside the time to spend with you and give you my full attention."

The above dialogue follows a strategy. But the words are still honest and geared toward the person. Following a strategy isn't necessarily a bad thing. By doing this, many people would actually consider it as having good communication skills. It's different than a "form letter" that would say exactly the same thing to every person who got it.

Look back through the letter your t wrote to you. Is it written strategically, but geared toward you as an individual? Or it is truly like a "form letter?" I see this as two separate things.