I am lucky, but I can't feel it or enjoy it. Right now I'm starting my day so angry because my 2 hour morning commute was horrible and went for more than 2 hours. I only had 3 hours to be with my family last night as usual and spent it exhausted because I am doing 13 hour days between commuting and work.

I also feel resentful to my family for making me go through this every day. My wife can't make as much as I do and we barely make ends meet as it is. Our rent will go up soon and as usual I work around people who own their houses, so I have to deal with the stupid "renting is a waste of money" thing. We can't move because my daughter has issues too and we can't have her change high schools now that she's doing well after just starting.

And my anger for other people kicks in sometimes. I'll spend today hating people because I have to be around them. The treatments say to accept these feelings and go about your life anyway knowing you're fulfilling the goal of supporting the family. I find it hard to just keep going. I shouldn't be a manager because I hate people. I hate politics at work but I hate doing work even more. I just hate doing things for other people.

This is not a normal thing for me, but today I feel it and wanted to just add it to the mix. I'm screwed up, but I should be thankful for what I have and I just can't. I don't have little things to keep me going. I hate talking to people at work. They act so productive and I hate productive acting people. I wish they were more honest about how much they hate these things too.