Feel like s*** today. Got up feeling drained. Got depressed by the sudden amount of weight I've put on, so didn't eat enough and had caffeinated drinks to burn off the calories which of course made me paranoid. My own stupid fault. So got to work and had intense paranoia when I heard that the 4 directors want a meeting with me on Friday. Kick-started a flashback to 2 years ago when I was so stressed out by the same directors that I couldn't stand up without falling over and developed agoraphobia. Spent all of today with palpitations and one eye on my in-tray waiting for a mail from one of them. Which didn't come thankfully. I know it's all in my mind, but that makes it no better. You know how it is. Have spent the whole evening sitting here going over every wrong the directors have ever done me. Dreading the meeting on Friday. Can't feel I can trust myself to not savage them.

Darvula