from what you have written it does not sound like you are happy in this relationship or that you are getting any benefits out of it. perhaps you would see more clearly if you put a pro/con list together and then you could judge if the benefits are worth the negative things you have to put up with. a lot of people stay in bad relationships for fear of not being able to find something better. but isn't being happy and enjoying life alone better than being miserable with someone else? you are perfectly capable of meeting all your own needs. sometimes it is good to spend time alone to learn how to meet all your own needs because this creates healthier relationships when you do get in one. there are plenty of healthier people out there and when you are in a good place yourself you will attract a healthier person into your life. you will feel worthy of a healthier person. you will expect more and feel deserving of more. you will not settle for less which is what you are considering now.