Quote:
Originally Posted by Seeking2
When I was a young boy of 6, a girl and I looked at each other's crotches several times behind a house. We then kissed under the covers and I got a nearly painful erection, but we didn't know about intercourse. I think lots of children have had experiences with kids their own age.
I wonder if you've ever considered the world view that monogamy is not the only way to be in long term relationship where you are committed to continue the relationship with that person? There are forms of responsible non-monogamy. You mentioned swinging, and that is one type, but for those that crave more emotional or verbal intimacy with multiple partners there is polyamory.
Sex at Dawn is a book that proposes that humans are not naturally monogamous and that monogamy was better suited to agricultural societies that are patriarchal.
More recently a study published found that there is a spectrum just like for sexuality.
I myself am heteroflexible and somewhere between swinger and poly. I don't have a strong desire to love many people equally due to time and energy constraints, but I realize that I am not a monogamous person.
So, how do you feel about people that decide that they are not monogamous, but that they are still ethical and good people?
Speaking of ethical, the ethical slut is a good book.
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Thanks for responding.
I've contemplated the possibility that I may just be a person who requires more, but I don't want that to keep me from being able to lead a "normal" life for my husband and kids. My husband told me that I need to be honest with him if that's something that I need and that it may be something that I need and not be realizing it. Now it's just stuck in my brain.
I don't even know how to categorize myself to preference. I've been with women and enjoyed it, but it isn't my preference overall. I'd do it again if the opportunity presented itself to me but I don't have the urge to seek it out.
I don't usually have an easy time talking to women, even on a friend basis. I don't keep what they call a "bestie", I usually end up leaving jobs where I have to work close to them because I'm so uncomfortable, awkward and irritated with the way that most of them have been.
Men on the other hand, tend to read me better. If there's tension, it's usually sexual tension and I manage it well most of the time. Most of my good friends are men, but then I tend to sleep with them once they reach the friend status because I desire to know them that way. The best I've ever felt was with a very dear friend of mine whom I can't speak to anymore because of it. (Husband says no after the affair- as he should)
It sounds as though at one time you may have been close to being in the same position? Maybe you're right and I'm not meant to be with just one person. I'm curious if you're married and how you brought this up to your spouse. Was it accepted?
I'll have to look up the book you suggested. Sounds interesting.
Hugs to you. Thank you again for reading my thread.
