I was in my late 20's when I did my confrontation, which consisted of separate letters to my father and mother. I received back an unapologetic acknowledgment about the abuse as well as a denial that it happened. Although I'd considered the possibility that I'd receive one or the other, I hadn't thought about receiving both at the same time, from people who were still married. It was a little trippy.

But my family's response was to freeze me out, a complete lack of communication, for 10 years. And that was probably the best gift, looking back, that I could have received. Their absence allowed me to literally stand on my two feet and become the person I was meant to be. I did so much growth then, and finished my first round of therapy, found a career that I loved, married, and had a family.

Eventually my family initiated contact and then there were apologies. Most of all, the relationships I have with them now are -- while not terribly close-- are supportive. They are also based on the present, and not stuck in history or resentment. That is what confrontation bought me-- my own life and the freedom to become myself, and then a family without the BS.

I think, for me, the important thing was that when I decided to engage in confrontation, I thought and wrote for months and months about it. For me, it was more important for me to say the truth, what I needed to say, and less important for me what they said back, or what they did.