Thanks for all that info Rose. I was on Tofranil for about a year or so and I think I tried elavil for a short time for some reason. I will have to decide if I want to go that route since my doctor does not seem to have a very broad scope of knowledge about most things. Plus I know how it made me feel before. If I do decide to try it again, it will be sort of a last ditch effort for me. I do seem to need calming down so it might work.

I am really concerned about some of my thoughts lately that are worse when I am lacking sleep even more than usual. I fear having a psychotic break occasionally, which is a bad, bad feeling. Also when I am around other people I have thoughts that I might just start saying really inappropriate things that would get me ousted really quickly or maybe taken to a hospital. Eewwh! Not going to do that. I guess it is an issue with social phobia. I have thoughts that I won't even write here! Not to sound like a broken record but klonopin surely seems to have completely taken my whole life away. Everything, my friends, family relationships and not to mention my career. Honestly I am financially f*cked and socially ruined. The continued insomnia with all these crazy thoughts is just added new misery to all that's happened because of what klonopin did to me.

20 months is a long time to try to hang on to your sanity when you feel so much anxiety and terror at times. It is unbelievably difficult. One thing about going back on a tricyclic is that from what I understand my brain is really damaged from all the years on a benzo, I wonder if there is not also damage from all the antidepressants I have taken over the years?