Many people say "trust has to be earned". I agree with that, but I think trust is more than that.

If you close yourself off from someone, you're not giving them a chance to earn your trust.

And if you're closing yourself off, the problem with trust lies within you. So you have to figure out why and how to minimize it. Do you feel vulnerable, worthless, fear, ashamed, etc.? In a sense, you're protecting yourself.

How to solve it? Therapy! Sometimes we have to put trust into someone we don't necessarily trust.

I have an extreme fear of abandonment. I don't like allowing anyone into my life. But I needed help and the avenue of help I needed was therapy. I didn't trust my T at first. I was terrified of her to the point I couldn't stop shaking. But I needed to stay. So I made her valuable to me. I gave her more importance then what she deserved. I forced myself to become attached. This allowed me to continue to work with her. And the trust slowly built over time. I paid attention to everything she said and did: her posture, facial expressions, tone, recollection, word choice, consistency, out of session contact, reaction, touch...everything. And what allowed me to finally trust her were the difficult sessions when I chose to allow her in.